


Never Be the Same

by Venturous



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 18:48:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8172089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venturous/pseuds/Venturous
Summary: Lito is haunted by the hot tub encounter with the Sensates. He doesn’t deliberately seek an erotic connection with Wolfgang, but the pathway seems to have been created to allow both of them to slip into each other’s consciousness during sex. How will he explain this to his partners Hernando and Dani?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [holyfant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyfant/gifts).



> Dear holyfant, thank you for your prompt. I am such a fan of the Wachaowski's work, it was a pleasure to rewatch Sense8 so I could write this. There is so much to explore in their new connected world - I wanted to keep going, but alas, ran out of time.

Lito sighed, sinking into the softness of their luxurious bed, letting the sweat cool his skin. He was breathing deep and steady, humming with the delicious exertion of sex, but he closed his eyes and frowned, turning his head away from Hernando.

“Lito, my love you are always so amazing!” 

He could hear Hernando’s words of praise, hear the thrill in his voice, the passion and delight that was completely genuine, and only reserved for him, Lito Rodriguez, the incredible star and legendary lover. Of course, Lito knew so well the fake veneer of his legend. He had lived it for years. And now he was terrified that he was lying to Hernando, phoning in a performance, fooling his precious love. And that when this secret was revealed it really would mean the end of them. 

For all his terror of coming out, the debacle of Lito’s showdown with Joaquin and Dani’s video going live, the results were amazingly good. The fans and paparazzi went insane, but that only accelerated Lito’s shooting star. His director quickly recovered when he saw the ratings and ticket sales soaring.  And Joaqin’s indictment for federal crimes didn’t hurt; Lito was a real hero now. He endured the flashing lights and the microphones shoved in his face, the questions were a little different, his agent reported a few nasty messages, but he had never paid any mind to  the tabloids so nothing much changed for him. 

But Hernando crashed into the spotlight, unprepared after years as Lito’s discreet secret refuge. It was a big adjustment. Hernando hated it. Often he really did want to punch the cameraman. Of course he had the good sense to resist, but Lito could tell when his lover was seething. Hernando often found their public outings exhausting.  All this time they had dreamed being lovers in public, it never occurred to Lito that Hernando would suffer from the frenzied relationship from the press. 

The gay community adopted them as heroes immediately, and it thrilled them to use their notoriety to help the cause. This evening they were just home from a fundraiser for Migrantes LGBT, raising a record-breaking amount.  If Lito was sorry that his lover had to lose his innocence, thrust into fame overnight, he was delighted that together they could really help the cause. 

But that was just  _ this _ life. His other new life was something else all together. And thus the post lovemaking angst: Lito had not yet really addressed the matter of his sensate family, not with his lover and housemate.  All these changes had rocked him in such a short time, a sense of equilibrium was elusive. He would never be the same, the cliche now so very true. 

He realized Hernando was asking him a question, and he rolled toward his lover, composing his actor’s face as he did to reveal no distress. And hating himself for doing it. 

“Sorry _corazon_ , I was …. Daydreaming.“  He brushed a tiny wisp of hair into place on Hernando’s temple. “You are so very beautiful, mi tesoro.”

Hernando flushed with appreciation. Lito felt sick. Then kissed him chastely, reverently on the forehead. At least this, his devotion, was truly sincere. 

The thing that haunted Lito, that he never could reveal to his lover, or Daniela-the-indiscreet, is that now during sex, more often than not, he was suddenly connected to one of the Cluster. With all the drama at work and at home, Lito had barely had a chance to process what it meant to have an inner connection with seven other people, a connection that could become quite tangible. 

At first he was sure he was losing his mind. That day on the set when all he could do was cry - he had no idea what was happening. Lito laughed, remembering. But it hadn't been funny at the time. Not at all. And yet, the next day he turned in one of his best performances in the shootout at the museum. He had felt connected: powerful yet in the flow. He was invincible not from strength but from surrender. 

It wasn’t until the Cluster came together, quite literally, in the hot tub that Lito really accepted what was happening. In remembering the intensity of his lovemaking with Hernando he kept flashing back to this incredible and increasingly vivid sensation that he had been entwined with at least 5 other people. 

 

************

 

Sometimes it was another’s lovemaking that would call him in, and in the midst of weight lifting or scene study he’d suddenly be deeply aroused. Today he understood what was happening, but it didn’t stop the sights, scents and sounds of sex  - that only he could hear - from distracting him. Sometimes quite thoroughly. 

Often it was Nomi and Amanita - they seemed to enjoy a great deal of sex! It surprised him that he could find their lovemaking arousing. Among the others, he was sad to see that loneliness and grim self pleasuring were too often the norm. 

One afternoon soon after the hot tub experience, when he was indulging in a languid self-massage, Lito became aware of Wolfgang engaged in the same enterprise. Fascinated, he watched - no… felt from inside how his Cluster brother stroked himself roughly in the shower, first fantasizing about a ridiculously large busted woman, then Kala (with great tenderness, he noted). Then, as Wolf approached climax, his mind flashed to an image of Felix on his knees, mouth filled with him. This jolted both the voyeur and the voyee into convulsive climax. 

Lito marveled at this, wondering. He wasn’t sure that Wolfgang was conscious of his homo-erotic feelings. He leaned closer (Lito had no words to describe this reaching into the consciousness of a Cluster mate) and sought a connection.

Soon Wolfgang wiped the steamed-up mirror, preparing to shave, and Lito looked back at him.  Wolfgang jumped back.

“ _Ich glaub mein Schwein pfeift!”_

Lito heard German yet felt as if he understood it. Sort of. 

“Your pig can whistle?” 

“I’ve seen you before.” Wolfgang was still a bit shaken. 

“Yes,” Lito replied, trying and failing to think of a non-sexual moment. “In the hot tub.”

Wolfgang blushed, began to turn away. “Oh, now I remember you.” He broke into a broad smile.

“It is all so dreamlike. I feel the others, sometimes, like they are near. Kala visits me regularly, Sometimes I talk to Sun. Where are you?”

“I am in Mexico City. And you are in Berlin, yes? I don’t get it - I don’t speak any German. Yet I understand you.”

Wolfgang nodded. “I know. I don’t know Spanish. But from the beginning, Kala and I, and Sun, and Capheus - we could speak with no difficulty.”

The door behind Wolfgang banged open.

“Who are you talking to? And what the fuck is taking you so long?” Felix looked impatient and wild eyed. He had recovered much since leaving the hospital, but he was still gaunt and wired, a hunted look in his eye.

“What, are you talking to yourself again? Close your mouth before something flies into it. And get dressed for fucks sake we’re going to be late.” 

Felix slammed the door shut as he left. 

Wolfgang turned back to the mirror, to find Lito failing to suppress a laugh. 

“What’s so goddamn funny?”

“You two bicker as if you are married." He smirked.

Wolgang’s eyes narrowed and he grew still, frowning. 

“Who the hell are you talking to?” Felix bellowed from beyond the door. 

Lito asked: “Does he know about us, the Cluster, I mean?”

Wolgang relaxed a fraction. “Well, it is difficult to explain. I have tried. I think he believes I’ve been hit in the head once too often.” 

“Hah! I know what you mean. I have two people I am close to, and they need to know. They can tell something is happening. Yet, don’t know how to tell them, not really.”

Wolfgang ran the comb through his hair, leaning to the side to get his own reflection in the mirror.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Lito stepped back, trying to be accommodating. 

“It’s alright. It’s just…” he gestured toward the door, then his tight frown cracked into a smirking laugh. 

Lito waved. “I shall let you go. Have a good evening, both of you.” He winked.

“Hey! It’s not like that! I’m no Schwule!”

But Lito had vanished into the steamy mirror. 

 

************

 

“Lito, is something troubling you? You feel far away!” Daniella, looking stunning as always, turned his face toward her, searching his eyes. They were sitting in a cafe, waiting for Hernando to join them after his lecture. 

“It is nothing _mijita_. I am tired, that is all.” He smiled at her and yawned. Thank god he was an actor. He was really mulling over his new inner life, and how on earth he was going to explain it to her and Hernando. 

“I thought everything was going great, now. Now that Joaquin is safely put away, and you are a bigger hero than ever!” She beamed at him, adoring. 

Lito’s heart twisted for her, just a little. He felt the tiniest crumb of guilt for her irrepressible affection for him, her longing that he could not satisfy. He had discovered that Dani watching him make love to Hernando made him so hard and strong he felt fueled by her enthusiastic admiration. And he took a wicked pleasure from being so desirable yet so unavailable to her. 

Yet she continued to insist that she was fine, she adored him all the more for knowing his true self, and she really did get off from his passion for Hernando. He watched her in the candle light, studying him. 

“What is it? Lito, you have the strangest expression on your face!”

“What? Oh, I am still amazed at how things have worked out, _mijita_. How I almost lost everything. Which was your fault, of course. And yet we are still together, closer than ever. And of course how I can now be out and proud and gay, showing off the gorgeous man I am in love on the street!”

He felt a tear welling. 

“It is really so amazing, and I wonder if I deserve such happiness.” He sniffled just a little. 

She swatted him with her tiny evening bag. 

“You are such a drama queen, Lito!” 

He felt confused, then sheepish, and then burst out laughing. 

“Drama is easy.” he said, smiling. “It’s what I do.”

As he flinched from her mock threat to hit him again, he saw Hernando come through the cafe door, and the smallest glimpse of his lover made Lito bloom with joy. He stood to greet him, and they kissed passionately, right there in the cafe. With Dani watching, beaming at them. 

He would find some way to explain the Cluster to them. He could talk to Nomi, she would understand. Maybe tomorrow. 


End file.
